Ive done Old, New and Borrowed in a seperate blog post. I gave up, had some coffee to chill me out and came back to it to try and find Something Blue. Theres lots of meanings behind that word, not just necessarily the colour. And im looking for "not the usual". Firstly, we'll be in Scotland. I'LL be blue. Its apparently very cold up there. But we can't take chances, its might go against all my usual bad luck and be warm.
Something Blue.... that could mean something rude, couldn't it? I can't be having that.
Something properly blue. According to our good friend, Wikipedia, "Blue" is the name of a gay porn mag. NO. Its also the name of a tourism magazine. Bloody hell, I can only imagine the number of times this has caused trouble at the newsagents. Especially after some lovely old people ordered their favourite Blue magazine, in the hope that there would be an interesting article on "Ten Places To Visit Before You Die", only to be delivered a rather different publication all together. This doesnt bare thinking about. Especially when Im supposed to be wedding planning.
Something else blue. There has been 4 different bands called Blue since the 70s. Maybe I could go down the aisle to their music?
Lets see, in the 70's it was "Blue", a scottish rock band. No.
80's? A pop duo called "Blue". DUO?! Name me one successful 80's duo who didn't go by the name of WHAM! ? Again, no.
The 90's saw the rise of "Bruford Levin Upper Extremities" AKA B.L.U.E. Good grief. A band with initials? Not since E.L.O thank you!
So that leaves us with the 00's. Blue, that pop band that even I've heard of. If I have to walk down the aisle to "All Rise", I'll turn around and leave.
Maybe not bands then, what about songs? Well, theres "Blue Da Ba Di" by Eiffel 65 (oh God, I didn't even need to google that. What is wrong with me?!).
OK, what about albums? Eveyones had an album called "Blue" from Diana Ross to Simply Red.
I have just decided.... "Something Blue" will not be in the music.
Something else blue. Back to Wikipedia... and I quote: "Blue, a level of doneness in cooking meat". Doneness?! I give up.
An episode of Red Dwarf was called "Blue". I don't quite know how this would work though.
Wikipedia, you have betrayed me. Back to Google. Hang on, this website looks interesting....
"Find an antique tussy mussy" I beg your pardon?
"Carry a vintage pill box" Ah yes, to symbolise a lifetime of drug abuse....
"Get a champagne glass to smash during the ceremony from a relative's wedding" Im sure they would appriciate that. Broken glass AND an angry relative. The perfect day.
"Experiment with a new henna tattoo kit" Is this advice for Something New at a wedding, or things to do on a rainy saturday afternoon?
"Treat the bride to a new haircut" that goes without saying, thank you very much. Im hardly going to turn up with Morning Hair now am I?!
"Have a custom perfume designed for the bride" And I'll pay the perume lab in gold bullion I suppose?
"Borrow a cell phone." In a church?! Be real.
"Borrow a reading from your sister's wedding." Wait, what?
"Borrow a long-time family friends' timeshare for your honeymoon." This is getting bizzarre now.
"Borrow your father's silk hankerchief." Not if my life depended on it would I carry my dads - nay, anyones - hankerchief down the aisle. When was this even written?! The 18th century?! Did they even have Teh Interwebs back then?
Still, lets see what they suggest for Something Blue.
"Have the groom wear a blue suit." I like this. I'm thinking David Tennant in Doctor Who.
But the writer of this insane article was probably thinking Spock. Or worse, Elton John. Blimey.
"Sprinkle the bride's skin lightly with sparkly blue body glitter." Hang on, is this a wedding or a 90's rave?
"Tie a blue thread around your finger." Casually.
So, no luck. I might wear some blue nail varnish on my toes or something, that will do. Well, it will unless Im wearing peep-toe shoes. That would be quite embarassing.
These traditions are very tiresome. Im just glad there isnt a tradition of "run the london marathon" or something. Although, i'll bet that other website would suggest it somewhere.
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