Where HAVE you been?!

Hello all. Well, its been a long time, hasnt it? I suppose I'd better tell you what has been happening in the last 2 and a bit years...

1) Yes, Tom and I did it. We got married! We celebrated our 2 year wedding anniversary just last week. Well, I say "celebrated". I mean we went into town for a drink but both ended up on soft drinks because (A) Tom doesn't like drinking and (B) I can't drink when Im pregnant.

2) Thats right, Im pregnant again. We're due our little Rory Austin in October, and we can't wait!

3) You read right. I said "again". Thats because, shortly after writing my last article for this blog in February 2010, we found out I was pregnant, which does explain the silence on here a bit. Dylan Thomas was born on December 5th 2010, which made me 3 months pregnant on our wedding day. We announced it to family and friends (obviously, close family already knew) at the wedding reception, and got an awesome reaction. I seem to remember somebody screamed a bit...? It was all a blur.

So thats basically all I have to say on the last 2 years, but this is my wedding blog, I think you all deserve a quick run-down of how the day itself went.

Firstly, the ceremony was perfect. I don't know why I was worried about not getting the church wedding. The Sheffield Town Hall was lovely. The room was grand but with a touch of intimacy, as there was only 40 or so seats. Dad walked me down to aisle to a mash-up of Mika's "Happy Ending" and Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You up". I rick-rolled my guests right from the off!

We said our vows - Tom somewhat nervously. He hates public speaking. Mind you, Im not a big fan of it, but I had had some practice. Thats right, narrator No. 3 and Angel No. 4 in at least 3 Nativity Plays in my youth. We were pronounced man and wife, and we signed our contracts. Then we all went outside for photos in the Peace Gardens. It was a lovely day, weather wise. Not too hot, but the sun was bright enough to look good on the photos.

We then retired to the hotel bar to chit-chat with guests, before going to our hotel room to get prepared for the evening. Because Im such a control freak, I didnt really trust anyone else with the decoration of the hall, so we rushed there 2 hours before the guests, along with my best friend Dom, Toms best man James and my parents. We did balloons, set up the guest book table, put the cake out, put sequins on the tables. It looked brilliant. But because it was a sports hall, they had big screen TVs everywhere.... showing the football. Tom was very happy indeed. Until they turned it off 5 minutes before the guests were due. Good times.

We greeted guests, we danced with people, we chatted to family and friends. We had pulled it off. Months of planning, worrying and blogging... We were married! I got my lovely purple dress, the 3-tier cake, the posh buffet, the lovely weather. And it was all because I kept a calm head and ploughed on through the tough times (OK, maybe I can't take credit for the weather, but everything else was pure hard work).

We had the best day of our lives, and were looking forward to more to come.

I just want to thank Blogger for giving my a platform to rant on. it saved my sanity many occassions.

Anyway enough chit-chat.... PHOTOS!

 The 3-tier cake, lovingly baked and decorated by my little sister and bridesmaid, Katie. I always said I wasn't going to have traditional cake toppers...

 Everyone who came to the ceremony outside the Town Hall in the Peace Gardens.

 My wonderful bridesmaids, doing a fantastic job of being brilliant.

 Me and my husband

 Enjoying a much needed drink after a lovely day

...And this is our little boy Dylan, who was around 14 months old for this photo.

Anyone fancy a glass of merlot?

I know I have just written a new post, but it was a bit on the ranty side, so I thought I should cheer up proceedings by giving some good news to my loyal subjects.

I have come across many a problem with this wedding planning lark. Who to invite, where to have the wedding, even which country to get married in! But one problem has blighted me more than any other.

The dress.

As you may remember, I went to a massive effort researching the dress. Colours, lengths, materials, prices. Sleeves or sleeve-less? Lace up or zip? Even black or white! I considered the lot.

I even bought a dress last year. A short, white silky number. Cheap as chips but very nice indeed. But with the wolves at the door, I took it back for a refund. At my most miserable, because I couldn't even afford a £30 wedding dress, I returned to my research. This led me far and wide. From one side of eBay to... well, the other side of eBay. Theres only so many times you can look at the same awful lacy lilac suit-dress before you give up completly. I was just resigning myself to the fact that I would be wearing a bin bag down the aisle.

But then, Christmas became a time for miracles! Victoria, my Maid of Honour, donated £1000 to the wedding fund! The search was back on...

I tried everywhere, God knows I tried. I looked high, low and inbetween for the perfect dress. But it was Tom who made up my mind. Like so often before, I was dithering and being stupid, so Tom took it upon himself to apply a bit of calm to the proceedings.

My dress is a secret. Length, material, colour. I will not divulge it to a soul. Except my bridesmaids, who were with me when I bought it. And Tom, who suggested it in the first place. And someone Tom works with whom he told before I made it clear that its a secret. Anyway, the point is, I HAS IT!!!

Its perfect too! It didn't cost the earth, the style makes the most of my, erm, curves, and the material is to die for!! We even managed to get a matching waistcoat and cravat for Tom, along with the rest of his suit!!

But you can't know anything about it until May 28th. So ha!

XxX

I don't care how many times you "like" my status, you are not coming to my wedding.

And so, as the snow of January melts away into the slightly warmer February, its time to take stock look at the positives.

I cannot proudly claim that this wedding is good to go, but I have managed to get some stuff done.

For example, I decided to stop ignoring those invites and get them done. So I spent 3 hours the other night signing and sealing, all I need to do now is deliver them. And what with the price of stamps being what they are, I think the hand-delivered approach might be best.

But this threw up another problem. Well, not another problem, more like brought back to life a problem I had hidden at the back of my mind. I refur you to Woody and Co. I know I said that Im not inviting them, but what does that mean? Not much if they are told "oh, your invite must have got lost in the post. I did tell them to invite you, so you must be invited. Just turn up at this time on this date...."

One main thing that is starting to get on my nerves is Facebook. Well, not Facebook itself, but certain people I have stupidly accepted friends requests from. Shes one of those people that I have been forced... sorry, "advised"... to invite. She is not coming. This is fact. Apart from the fact that I don't even know her, she keeps "liking" my status, everytime I mention anything even remotly related to the wedding. As though shes trying to say "I like weddings. I like them so much I had my own last year. I even like to like status' about weddings. But I don't like you enough to have invited to to my wedding. But I like your status."

Well 'eff off! If she turns up, I will be very annoyed. As for Woody and co, I think Im going to have to handle that in a more mature manner. Namely, get a bouncer. If your names not down, you ain't comin' in!

On the plus side, the invites do look brilliant. OK, they havnt been made by a proffessional printer, and they didn't get the royal seal of approval or anything, but given the materials and budget I had to hand, Im pretty pleased with them.

Anyway, enough about invites. Lets get working on having something to invite them to...

PANIC STATIONS!

Its a new year, and that can mean only one thing. Thats right! Patronising adverts about dieting, quitting smoking and "yoghurt that loves your tummy". God I can't wait until February when they stop harping on at me!

But yes, its a new year and we are drawing ever closer to the wedding. I have the funds, I have the groom and - most importantly - I have the file on my laptop marked "TO DO LIST! DO NOT IGNORE!"

Its all well and good writing down what I need, and where to get it, and why I need it... but I really need to get out there and do-ooo-ooooooo it! But theres just so much to do!!

Theres is only one thing that is not on the list, and that is because I have no idea where to start. I need a dress. I know ive ranted, raved and down-right shouted about needing a dress but I just cannot find one for love nor money. Nowhere sells wedding dresses! Only little wedding boutiques where the snooty shop assistant looks down on you for getting married. And they try and justify the ridiculous prices by saying stuff like "its the most important day of your life" and "you only get one wedding dress". Well screw them. I refuse to even go in those shops. When you finally find a dress, you say "I'll try this on" they come and dress you in it?! "Oh thanks, Ive managed this far in life on my own... walking around, feeding myself etc but I still need someone to DRESS ME!?"

I get very angry about shops like that. So ive been trawling the big department stores. BHS, M&S etc. But for some bizarre reason, those stores seem to believe that everyone who gets married must be in their 50's, because all they sell in the "bridal" section are ivory two-pieces and lacy suits! Not to mention £30 for a tie! OK, they label it as a "Cravat", but all in all its just a strip of material! So that has not been very viable as an option.

So where do I turn next? I want simple, affordable and white. Its not brain science or rocket surgery is it?! So I have turned, once again, to the internet. Again, more snooty boutique websites with classy photos of size zero models in their dresses. No thanks. Department store sites? Yes, actually, they have the odd nice dress for the right price. Pointless though when they don't have a delivery service, and their only bridal department is in a store in Milton Keynes!

I really need to knuckle down and do something drastic. I've got 4 months to find what I need. 4 months! Think about it. Ive been planning this wedding for 7 months, and NOTHING has been done! So what am I going to manage in just four short months?! not bloody much matey!

I need to get some serious shopping done.

The Miracle of Christmas

Merry Christmas one and all!

Ive had a good ol' year don't you know. 2009 has been one of those years I shall have to make a mental note of. Ive moved into my first home with Tom, gotten myself engaged and got a family together (namely, two cats). So, it won't go down the same route as 2008, which has since been lost in my memory file. Nor will it be sentenced to a lifetime of forgottenness, like 2007. Or was it 2006 I tried to forget about? Oh I don't know, I've forgotten.

Anyway, all there is to say is 2009 has been a good year. And there is still 4 days left, who knows what could happen!? OK, in all probability, nothing. But, there is one other thing that happened this year that I won't forget in a hurry. And that is my sister Victoria doing, possibly, the nicest thing she has ever done for me... and that includes being a generally fab big sis at the best of times. Shes only gone and restored my faith in human nature. Not only that, Ive had my faith restored that, yes, my wedding day might not be all doves and 4 tier cakes, but it will be done MY way.

But, dear blog-reader, you may be thinking "hang on, just last week in the last blog article you were complaining that your day was being ruined by interfering people? What about the Agadoo DJ you hate the idea of, and the hordes of VIPs you've never met being guests of honour?!"
Well, all I can say to that is "not anymore". You see, getting married is like starting a business. You need financial backing, and that backer will have a say in what happens. These backers are commonly known as "Dragons". I for one was not happy that my particular financial backer... or "dragon"... was dictating every last detail of my wedding. So what did my sister do?

In the words of Rage Against The Machine, as this is a festive time of year, she decided to "Take The Power Back". For Christmas, as a present to Tom and I, she has given us £1000 to spend on the wedding, so that we can do it "our way". Thats right, One Thousand English Pounds Sterling! Ive never even dreamt that I could have that kind of money for one day! But shes gone and done it! I knew I made her my Maid of Honour for a reason!

So, the wedding will go ahead. Not only have I got the funds to do things beyond my wildest dreams, but ive also got someone to talk wedding planning with! Now that she is my Dragon, she can help me! We can dress shop, look for cake toppers and search out DJs together! I am SO excited about what 2010 will bring now. Ive got 5 months EXACTLY (because the wedding is 5 months tomorrow!) to get some serious wedding planning done!

Stick that in your pipe and smoke it, Woody!

Oh, and Merry Christmas Blog-Fans... and a happy new year! See you in May!

I has another problemette...

20 seats. 29 relatives. Do the maths.

Maybe it has something to do with the fact that its Tom's day off (therefore = lie in day) and the nosy woman across the road has sent her son to cut down my hedge at 8am, but im feeling a little bit stressed. I wouldn't mind, but I was purposefully growing that hedge to be bigger and bushier, so that it covered my entire window and therefore I could open my blinds once every now and again without fear of her climbing down her path and staring at me!

But stress brings it out of you. I was up until the very early hours thinking about my little problemette. And no, not the one in yesterdays blog article. I have a new one now. Ive just found out that certain family members are not aware that their children are not invited. I was told "oh its fine, send your invite for them - and their partners that you have never met - to my house, and I'll pass them on".

Wait, what?!

So Ive done the maths. Ive juggled and re-juggled the seating plan and its no use. You cannot get 29 people into just 20 seats. And thats not including the fact that I did kinda want some friends there too, not just a big Walton clan reunion.

Oh lordy lordy! We're forgetting, are we not, about my "VIP" guests! Where ever shall they sit?! Im sure nobody (least of all me) would mind if they just sat next to me and Tom at the front, I mean, they ARE very, very special guests. Well, Ive never met them, nor has Tom, but they come highly recommended as THE wedding guest to have on your special day. A wedding without Woody & friends.... well, it just aint a wedding, is it?

Its 9am. I should not be up this early. But I am through no fault of my own, which is why I will rant, rant and rant again about this. Until Thomas puts his foot down with a firm hand, I doubt there will even be a wedding, blog-fans. I don't see why I should suffer this nonsense. Up with this I will not put. We are having the cheapest, easiest wedding because we want to do it OUR way. Yet, I have been told "this, this and this person" are not allowed to come, however "this, this and especially this person" are first in the line for a slice of cake and a volauvent! And "this bloke" is doing your Djing.... hes a big fan of Agadoo no doubt..... and what?! Cars? Who ever heard of using a car on your wedding day?! Get the bus you work-shy fop! And you want a wedding reception in a nice place?! No, darling, just no. My bestest friend in the whole world - who IS coming to your wedding, by the way - had her reception in a cheap little sports hall. You should do that. In fact, why not copy HER day completly?! Well, you wouldn't know what happened at her wedding, seeing as though you wasn't invited.... that said, she thinks the world of you two - ok, not enough to invite you to hers - but never-the-less.....

One of these days I'll be sent mad. Maybe by the interfering, maybe by the 8am alarm call of somone cutting my hedge down. But one thing is for sure.... when I do go mad, I'll do it MY way and thats my final word!

Giftage problemette....

As its almost Christmas, I am in the mood for talking about gifts. Its the same every year isn't it? You don't want to ask outright for stuff, but if you don't somehow mention it in a hint of some sort, you get another knitted jumper straight from a Wham video. And lets be honest, its more of a hinderence, especially when its 2 bus rides to the nearest charity shop. Anyway, I digress...

Its another touchy subject in the world of weddings. How do you ask for gifts? Ive researched it, of course I have. And as far as I can work out here are the dos and don'ts...

DO sit down with your partner and discuss what you actually want. Its no good him thinking they "need" an Xbox, when she wants dinnerware.

DONT mention it on the invite. Its rude. Apparently.

And thats all I can work out to be honest. So how DO you ask? Obviously, Ive said to my very nearest and dearest what Tom and I have in mind. But what about family you don't actually see all that often? And what about family you've never met, but you're inviting out of politeness? And what about people who you can't even be certain actually exist, because neither you nor your partner have ever heard of them, but they have been invited behind your back by future in-laws because "they work with them"? A silly notion I agree, but trust me, it can happen...

Anyway, its another one of those issues that make weddings stressful. Its the touchy subjects, like "how do you tell people that its an adult only ceremony"? and "is it ok to invite that uncle but not that auntie because we don't see each other"? How do you say to people you very rarely talk to that you would like a certain something to help you on your way to married life?

Traditionally, people just buy toasters, kettles and towels. Now Ive been living with Tom for over a year. We have more towels than a bath showroom, and my kettle and toaster are practically brand new. If I don't say anything, this is what we'll get.

Not that its the guests fault, no no. Its very difficult to buy things for people you hardly know. Usually, when the invite comes, you automatically think "towels or toaster? toaster or towels?"

Anyway, heres what we think. Tom and I have everything we need in our house, except there is one thing we would like to change. And that is that we need to redecorate a bit. So, we have decided that - should anyone want to get us a gift, not that they have to because like I said we have everything we need - we would like vouchers from B&Q, Homebase and IKEA. Obviously, we know not everyone will agree with this gift idea and want to go for the personal touch, but for those who are in a pickle as to what we need or want, this is an ideal solution. The guest doesn't have the stress of guessing what we want, and we will have many happy hours in the aisles of hardware stores. And thats not sarcasm. I LOVE going shopping to B&Q and Homebase. We even make a day of it when we go to IKEA. Who said romance was dead, eh?

OK, so we've established that vouchers for hardware stores would be the best gift from those who want to help us out on the road to married life. But just how do I ask for them? The invites are already printed and ready to send, so I can't just scrawl something on the back saying "btw, gift vouchers plz? Kthanxbye!". Plus, various wedding websites say that mentioning gifts in invites is very bad form indeed.

So what do I do? Its a quandrey thats for sure. I will be putting something on our wedding website, but Im not niave to think that everyone will actually make time to go to it. So I could phone them and ask them all individually? No, that would be awkward.

Got it. I'll ask someone who talks to everyone on my side of the family on a regular basis to pass it on. Good ol' Nanan. She'll sort it out!

But what about Tom's side? He can't exactly ask them personally, seeing as though he hasnt spoken to most of them since he was in primary school (why theyre even invited at all is beyond me...). I'll think of something.

And what about all the people that neither Tom or myself have even heard of? Well, I suspect that I will be expected to buy THEM something, seeing as I should be honoured that theyre even making the time and effort to come to my "farce" of a wedding. I didn't even know that "Woody" was a legitimate human name! Aparently so.

Oh, that reminds me. I must remember to get a red carpet. I don't want my extra special guests getting dirty shoes from our farcical wedding reception floor, would I?

I am spiteful, therefore I am. Don't like it, don't come.