"I'm just borrowing this new, old, blue thing. K thnx bye"

First published September 24th '09

Last night I was thinking about that old tradition of "Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed and Something Blue". I know that my wedding will be pretty much traditionless (what with the pink dress and the feathered bouquet!) but I quite like this little saying, so I wanted to discuss it a bit.

Naturally, I won't be doing the ordinary. Something Old - a family hairloom, Something New - the dress, Something Borrowed - A brooch or something equally typical of those american wedding films and Something Blue - A garter. I won't be doing anything as obvious as that, but lets throw some ideas around, see if we can come up with something a bit fun shall we?

OK, Something Old: Well, theres my dad of course, he'll be coming. But I don't think that counts. Hang on, what IS "old"? I consider the t-shirt I bought last week to be "old". But its not as old as, say, the Bayeux Tapestry . Or the tombs of the pharohs in Egypt. Or the world itself. And I can't take them with me. So what IS old enough...?

Should it be something of signifigance from when Tom and I first got together? Because that would be old. He gave me a bracelet for my 15th birthday, which was 12 days after we got together. Something tells me that it wasnt exactly brand new when he gave it to me, so would that be old enough? But then again, Ive never worn it, so is that significant? Bloody hell, this is a minefield. Im just going to stage a break into a Museum and take the first thing I see... although, Ive never stolen anything in my life, so I'll chicken out and take one of the crayons from the kids room where they draw pictures of the exhibits. Hey, if I take a blue one, that covers Something Blue too. And if I take it back when ive finished, thats Something Borrowed too!! AND, if I make sure they're fresh out of the packet, thats gotta count as Something New!

Thats that sorted. Easier than I thought, actually.

No, this must be done properly. Okay, OLD. Something Old. An old birthday present from Tom (not the bracelet, we've discussed this). My ring. Not my engagement ring, that would be silly. A few years ago he bought me a promise ring which I wore every day until I got my engagement ring. I might take that. Thats quite old. yes, that will do.

OK, moving on. Something New. Not my dress, even though that will be new, but its too typical. So ive got to go out and buy something now. Bloody hell. I'll buy something nearer the time, so its really new. Plus, it saves me thinking about it now.

Something Borrowed. Easy, we're hoping to borrow Tom's parents' car to go up to Scotland (as much as we love the little Punto, it barely makes it to the corner shop these days, let alone to Scotland!). But I wont be stood on the bonnet at the altar, so does that count? Hmmm, I might have to go down the old "borrowed jewellery" route. Damn. I didn't really want to do that. Very clich...cliche... very common.

I'll have to come back to this another time. I give up right now. Bloody traditions. Who'd have 'em?!