Giftage problemette....

As its almost Christmas, I am in the mood for talking about gifts. Its the same every year isn't it? You don't want to ask outright for stuff, but if you don't somehow mention it in a hint of some sort, you get another knitted jumper straight from a Wham video. And lets be honest, its more of a hinderence, especially when its 2 bus rides to the nearest charity shop. Anyway, I digress...

Its another touchy subject in the world of weddings. How do you ask for gifts? Ive researched it, of course I have. And as far as I can work out here are the dos and don'ts...

DO sit down with your partner and discuss what you actually want. Its no good him thinking they "need" an Xbox, when she wants dinnerware.

DONT mention it on the invite. Its rude. Apparently.

And thats all I can work out to be honest. So how DO you ask? Obviously, Ive said to my very nearest and dearest what Tom and I have in mind. But what about family you don't actually see all that often? And what about family you've never met, but you're inviting out of politeness? And what about people who you can't even be certain actually exist, because neither you nor your partner have ever heard of them, but they have been invited behind your back by future in-laws because "they work with them"? A silly notion I agree, but trust me, it can happen...

Anyway, its another one of those issues that make weddings stressful. Its the touchy subjects, like "how do you tell people that its an adult only ceremony"? and "is it ok to invite that uncle but not that auntie because we don't see each other"? How do you say to people you very rarely talk to that you would like a certain something to help you on your way to married life?

Traditionally, people just buy toasters, kettles and towels. Now Ive been living with Tom for over a year. We have more towels than a bath showroom, and my kettle and toaster are practically brand new. If I don't say anything, this is what we'll get.

Not that its the guests fault, no no. Its very difficult to buy things for people you hardly know. Usually, when the invite comes, you automatically think "towels or toaster? toaster or towels?"

Anyway, heres what we think. Tom and I have everything we need in our house, except there is one thing we would like to change. And that is that we need to redecorate a bit. So, we have decided that - should anyone want to get us a gift, not that they have to because like I said we have everything we need - we would like vouchers from B&Q, Homebase and IKEA. Obviously, we know not everyone will agree with this gift idea and want to go for the personal touch, but for those who are in a pickle as to what we need or want, this is an ideal solution. The guest doesn't have the stress of guessing what we want, and we will have many happy hours in the aisles of hardware stores. And thats not sarcasm. I LOVE going shopping to B&Q and Homebase. We even make a day of it when we go to IKEA. Who said romance was dead, eh?

OK, so we've established that vouchers for hardware stores would be the best gift from those who want to help us out on the road to married life. But just how do I ask for them? The invites are already printed and ready to send, so I can't just scrawl something on the back saying "btw, gift vouchers plz? Kthanxbye!". Plus, various wedding websites say that mentioning gifts in invites is very bad form indeed.

So what do I do? Its a quandrey thats for sure. I will be putting something on our wedding website, but Im not niave to think that everyone will actually make time to go to it. So I could phone them and ask them all individually? No, that would be awkward.

Got it. I'll ask someone who talks to everyone on my side of the family on a regular basis to pass it on. Good ol' Nanan. She'll sort it out!

But what about Tom's side? He can't exactly ask them personally, seeing as though he hasnt spoken to most of them since he was in primary school (why theyre even invited at all is beyond me...). I'll think of something.

And what about all the people that neither Tom or myself have even heard of? Well, I suspect that I will be expected to buy THEM something, seeing as I should be honoured that theyre even making the time and effort to come to my "farce" of a wedding. I didn't even know that "Woody" was a legitimate human name! Aparently so.

Oh, that reminds me. I must remember to get a red carpet. I don't want my extra special guests getting dirty shoes from our farcical wedding reception floor, would I?

I am spiteful, therefore I am. Don't like it, don't come.