Deja Vu anyone?

OK, so it took longer than 5 minutes, but I'm back.

I did indeed have a coffee. I also went Virtual Dress Hunting. And, appologies in advance for the feeling of severe deja vu, but I have found it.

Well, I say "I" found it, but - again - Tom proved his weight in gold when he helped out. I found a particular website that makes custom dresses for a teeny tiny price. OK, the quality wont be great, but im walking down an aisle, not going hiking! As I was searching through the vast collection of designs, colours and sizes, I was going a bit silly. Every dress I saw I thought "this is it, this is The One..... Oh wait, this one has a lace back, I prefur this one.... HANG ON! This one has a slightly longer train..... but is that too OTT for a registry office.... yes, this is no good..... But what about this one? Its red, but maybe they make a white version........ No, this one! This one!"

Tom, fed up with his post-work cup of tea being ruined by my foolish dithering, took the mouse from me. After no more than a minute, he saw one I had previously skipped past.
"Jenn, you would look beautiful in this. Not too - you know - flouncy. But not too... whats the word?... understated. And a nice shade of white. Is that ivory? And look at the back! Its lace up, like you wanted, so you can alter it to your bust size... With a nice, short veil, this would look stunning on you...."

Snatching the mouse back, it had yet again been proved that I am useless. I had skipped straight past this dress, because the thumbnail picture didn't appeal to me. But looking at it properly, I could see that - damn it - Tom was right. It WAS understated, and not too flouncy. It had a lace up back, and - this annoyed me the most - it WAS ivory. I hate that lovely, helpful guy!

Also, I had never even thought about a veil. But when he mentioned it, it seemed normal. A short veil would look nice, and it might even mask my shoulder tattoo.

I really like the dress. I can't say that I love it, because I know i'll never get it - and to acknowledge that I love it will cause me more distress when I walk down the aisle in a bin bag or something. Its not that its expensive either - it is just £4 more (and with P&P its only £18 more) than the other dress I already bought (and took back... but im over that....). Plus, this one will actually fit me, because they don't just stock size zero. They can actually custom make it in your size if you send them yur measurements.... for no extra cost too.

I know people will tut and say "save up for it, it can't take forever to save up a measly £48" but, yes it does. Until I get a job, we have literally no extra money.... infact, we're into the minus numbers already because of all the money we've borrowed. And the website won't have them forever. The dress Ive seen only has 1 more in stock, and when that gets sold, they will discontinue the line. And I can't see that dress being there for much longer - it is gorgeous. I wouldnt be suprised if someone snapped it up within the next week or so.

Want a sneak preview...? OK, but only a teeny tiny sneeky peek, OK?I know, I know, im too kind!

I also know im going back to ranting. But that is what happens. More coffee needed methinks.

I wonder if I could sell a kindey.......?